today we changed our class seating position. good for me. now i'm at the back all by myself. one table alone. the only other girl in the same row as i am in is this one called Lim Yi Ting. and she's super messy. and kinda violent, by my classmates standards. not to say i'm not violent, but then again i'm different, her voice is just as low as mine but then again she can scream but i can't. and then i think it's about time readers of this blog knew that i go to the school counsellor. and she's called... okay i don't want much people in MGS to know cause they'll start asking around who is this person. so i'll call her R. okay? so lets go!:) and she says that sometimes just let your true feelings show cause she says i have this wall between the me i show outside and my true feelings. and sometimes i just think of incidents as incidents, and she always asks me how i feel. and then she hints here and there, and generally i feel what she has just suggested. i have no idea how she manages to coax out the feelings. i can't. i just ask myself how do i feel and nothing comes. so i'm a poor counselor, huh? i wouldn't ever make anything out of this profession. then i thought ok, good then, i'm nicely alone at the back now and i can see everyone now. but then there was this thing niggling at the back of my cranium shouting loudly what the hell it's not good it's so lonely. and i've never felt lonely before. even at the start of the year when i first appealed into MGS and i sat all alone at the back of the classroom, without even someone in the same row as me. and i didn't feel lonely. sometimes i feel no diff after seeing R, but then sometimes it's heartened, and now i feel...damn, i think it's a little embarrassing to mention it. but you can guess. it starts with P, and another starts with W. so i have no idea what to think. anyway, i have to go and meet my friends for the debate friendly spar, so that's all for now, then.