Well! Today I had a doctor's appointment. It's a six month thing for my spine. For those who don't know, I have congenital scoliosis. I have half a vertebrae extra, in the shape of a wedgge, and it causes the spine to tilt. So it's called hemivertebrae. Don't ask me why, or how it's formed. Just know that it's there. So the doctors today, my regular Prof Wong and his trainee(I think) under him both said that they thought the best thing for me was surgery. And, yes, the degree of the spine increased...at first it was 37. Then it went to 35. And now it's 38. And the doctors fixed the frigging appointment for NEXT BLOODY YEAR. Oh freak. It's a hell of a long time to wait. And they said if we leave it forever and not do the surgery at all then the cartilage there will probably suffer from wear and tear and then it'll press on my nerves. So it'll probably result in nerve damage and possibly paralysis. Damn. If we do the surgery, then complications like loss of blood, possible nerve damage might result. And of course there's plenty of other stuff to consider for surgery(the risks I mean.)And then you know in movies people always say in this kind of crisis then what'll happen is they see their entire life flashing in front of their eyes, and they start crying. Sorry to disappoint. I didn't cry, nor did I see my entire life flashing in front of my eyes. I merely thought: I'm kinda hungry. So I fished in my bag for Polo mints and I wished I could just plug out the doctors, dump them out of the window and stuff my iPod earphones into my ears and tune out everyone else. To hell with the diagnosis. To hell with everything else. I just wanted to be alone at home. This isn't the first time I felt like this. And when we went out of the room to pay, we had to sit on those hospital chairs. These weren't so bad. They weren't those plastic flimsy affairs that collapse as you sit. It was rather hard though. And I looked at the TVs on the wall, one broadcasting CNN and the other showing which patients(identified by queue numbers) were to report to which room. I had my earphones plugged in though my parents were sitting with me. I didn't feel like talking. I was in a destructive mood. I felt like ripping don those two TVs and dissecting(or rather, disassembing it) and throwing everything out of the window. Don't ask me why. I have no idea myself. And no, another trip to the counselor isn't going to help.