So I'm back from OBS, and yes, I survived.

I remember during some parts of it I was desperately longing for home. Like I had different schemes to get me home, for example get out of the tent where we pitched, swim across the sea and hitchhike my way home. On the hike, jump in the lake/river/reservoir/whatever-damn-water-body-it-is and then let my 15 kg backpack drown me. On the hike up a bloody steep hill, let my backpack drag me backwards and then roll all the way down. Get a concussion and go to hospital. Oh, we forget that night when we finished kayaking, and pitched tents in fading light, then we cooked dinner in moonlight. Singapore was just across, the sea was the only barrier. We could see highways and we thought we saw a lone taxi trundling along. There were streetlamps. OMFG, I wanted to steal a kayak and paddle across.

Then there were the glorious parts, where we all collapsed in unison at the various 'monsters' that we had to defeat at different parts of the hike, where I made it all the way up the rock wall due to all my group mates shouting "THIS LEG ON THAT ROCK AND YOUR THIS HAND TO THAT, NO THIS THAT THIS ROCK CAN'T YOU SEE IT OH YOU CAN'T REACH STRAIGHTEN YOUR LEGSSSS!!". There were good times where we were screaming "THE RICE IS BURNTTT, SOMEONE RESCUE ITTTTTT!!!" And then I and Deepika ended up trying to scrape the burnt rice from the bottom with Swiss Army Knives. T_T I think our cooking skills don't really stretch very far.

And then there were pretty bad times, like when we all kena bitten like shit. Charishma thought she was pretty bad because she had 15 bites on one arm, then she looked at my legs and went like this: O_O . Theo's Mopiko saved me too. And I got rashes. It's nearly all over, it spread more after I got back to Singapore. I wear long sleeves and trackpants at home now trying to scratch. It's on my neck too. I got my period when we were almost done with the hike and were collapsing all over on the Black Monster. It was kinda disgusting because there wasn't a toilet in the reservoir so I had to go and put in a pad at some shed. It was fine then because my underwear was blood soaked the pad didn't adhere properly so I got an abrasion on my inner left thigh and I couldn't really walk properly. But it got better so I was fine the next day, surprisingly.

And then everyone was like "GOODBYE OBS! GOOD BYE CHLOE!!" as we got into the ferry going off from Pulau Ubin. And then we got back to Singapore and boarded the bus, and went out into Punggol. "I SEE BUSES! I SEE CARS! I SEE PEOPLE! I SEE HDB FLATS! I SEE THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT OHMIGAWD IT'S CIVILIZAATIONNNZ PEEPZ!" Everyone was just screaming but at the same time I thought I really missed OBS. Like, I just got off the island twenty minutes ago but I already miss OBS and Chloe and when everyone quietened down, I said "I just want to see Chloe and Eng Soon and nothing else, I just miss OBS. I wanna go back." And then the others were going "You SIAO ah, OBS go one time enough liao." Well I don't care, I miss it.
In case you didn't realize, the date today is the 12th of May. And something happened today.

One of my classmates got sent to the hospital and other than five good friends of hers, none of us know why. We were expressly told by our co-form teacher not to tell anyone.

And I have no inkling of what had just happened today.

You know what happened last year around this time? The entire Sec Two cohort went into mourning. Yes, you know what I mean. And I had marked out that day in my diary. It was the 13th of May. It's Term Two, just after the end of CTs.

A few days ago I began feeling uneasy. I don't know why. So I flipped open my school diary. Nothing. I dug out last year's. Flipped to the date. And flipped some more. I knew. It was this period of time.

Damn it. I don't know what to think anymore. I got 17/40 for my A Math test and desperately tried to make myself feel as though I cared about failing.

I didn't.

Damn it.
If anyone actually realises this, along with me, it's just all our faults for being bloody geniuses.

If you actually realise, all that we're trying to do is near impossible shit in school. We're learning about titration now. And no, I do not understand. And then we're going on to modulus function. And some profit and cost thing in E Math. And then here and there again we have to kill our hands trying to write out two SBQ answers, lasting two pages, and finish and SEQ which lasts I don't know how many stupid pages, and oh I nearly forgot the SS and the Lit papers. And just hauling out brain cells trying to actually pass the fricking Chemistry paper. And I STUDIED. It's not as though I sat on my arse at home and didn't study. I STUDIED MY ASS OFF.

Because I didn't know how to do the homework for Circles Worksheets Kiss-My-Ass One, Kiss-My-Ass Two, Kiss-My-Ass Three and Kiss-My-Ass Four, I didn't hand them up. The worksheets can kiss my ass, I don't care about them. And because I was busy trying to figure them out, I didn't do the Welfare State essay. And here I am blogging about it. I should go and do it, actually.

And stop procrastinating.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
No, I do not think I passed the test. But then again it doesn't really make too much of a difference anymore anyway. It just seems all the same, pass or not. To think I once cried over a 69 in HCL in Primary Five.

I need to be a cyborg.