PESA's over.

For me, at least.

Outside the room in the corridor:

"Oh are you joining the PESA competition? You should, I think you'd do well..."

"Oh thanks Stacey, but I'm just a replacement for someone who's in Malaysia at the moment. So I'm just supposed to attend since the school paid, and the other girl will take part in the competition."

"You should take part..."

- awkward smile from me, confident and friendly smile from her -


In the lift with two girls:

"Hey are you a debater? You should be one, you speak well..."

-awkward smile- "Eh I was in the debate team last year, then I quit this year..."

"Oh whyyy? You should continue..."

"Eh they didn't inform me of trainings so I guess they didn't really want me there, and they're all better than me anyway."

"Oh... But I think you should continue. If you really like it then you should fight for it..."

-awkward smile- "Thanks...But I don't think they really wanted me. Thanks..."



It was only after I left them, after they walked away in the opposite direction, that I realised how much of a coward I must have seemed to them.

Confident on the speaking floor, then socially awkward.