It is all over, and yet, there is no catharsis.


English:
36 or 39/50. Something like that for the common test.

HCL:
Haven't gotten it back but I'm pretty sure I'm screwed because I didn't finish the paper. I only finished inking out half the summary and I didn't do the last two compre questions.

Bio:
Haven't received the paper, but I think I should be alright for the paper. I'm not THAT bad at bio. I should pass.

Chem:
Fucking screwed. It was the last paper. I tried committing so much to memory that I kinda had a system overload. I couldn't call up any data at all. For calculations I think I didn't get a single question right. I understand whatever Mrs Lau is saying, but my answers just seem odd. Acids, Bases, Salts and Calculations, you are my downfall. Screw that, CHEM IS MY DOWNFALL.

A Math:
Ms Mansi (our nineteen year old teacher) said that the class didn't do very well, and quite a few people failed, and it wasn't just one or two people. She said some people actually had a single digit score. So I thought it was me, naturally, because it's a case of 'SINCE WHEN DO I PASS A MATH?!' So I was pleasantly surprised when I got a 19/30. And it was even better for about one and a half minutes when I got an extra mark. 20/30.

E Math:
I think this subject is quite screwed too. I don't do well in Math, and I think all my Further Trigo questions that I attempted for this paper are not done properly, and I don't think I have a snowball's chances in hell of passing.

Social Studies:
Not good. 11/25. I studied... Really. And I REALLY PAID ATTENTION IN CLASS. I COPIED DOWN ALL THE MAGIC EMO WORDS: ANGER, RESENTMENT AND TENSION. I don't know what happened, I just forgot it all.

History:
I don't know, I think it was moderately okay, because I managed to finish the paper, but I've never passed History so I think it's gonna be not very hopeful.

Lit:
Bad. I don't think I did well, and Ms Bong said she was worried about some of the inferences that we were making. She said that this assessment is merely a gauge of your ability, to let her and us know what we should do and how to improve. BULLSHIT. I think she's just trying to break it gently to us.

I think that's all the subjects I take. If there were additional ones I think I would be committed to Woodbridge for insanity. Just sitting at my desk and trying to do homework makes me feel frustrated, whether or not I'm actually able to do it or not.

It's all over, but I don't feel any cathartic relief which Ms Bong was talking about yesterday in Lit class. Yesterday she was going on about the process of grieving in F451, and how the five stages of grief were basically cut to none in that dystopic world. Five minutes after a man's dead, he's on his way to the Big Flue, ten minutes later he's a speck of dust. So basically there's no grieving time. And that's not an exact quote, but it's quite close.

So because there's no grieving time, the people are forced to suppress their emotions. (I got that one!) And because they suppress their emotions, then they have to have an outlet. So the people in F451 use violence as their outlet, you know, through all the violent parlour wall shows and the speeding in the cars in town, and the bumper cars and the supposed amusement parks in town which should really be called a violence farm...

And I was wondering, isn't that just what we're doing all the time? Suppressing and compartmentalising? Bottling up? Going sleepless and being frustrated and angry and depressed because of it?

I swear it's just teenage angst, maybe, but I think every single one of us in class identified.