All I want for Christmas... is my laptop back.

I don't give two hoots about some supposed screen flicker. It's nonexistent as far as I'm concerned, and I think there's no cause for a new laptop. And I say that not because I'm trying to use reverse psychology and get a new laptop, I just really don't want a new laptop. Because the new laptop will not be called mine like this tiny HP Mini is now. If there's a new laptop in the house, it won't be called mine anymore. And I'd rather use things that I can call mine. Like I hate using the phone I have now because it's not mine, it's my mother's, and I don't like using my mother's laptop because it's not mine, it's HERS and it just screams hers because it's a white Macbook.

I hate Apple computers, and I don't want one. Not now, not ever. I think they're a waste of money. Why charge so much? I don't care if you tout the apparent values of being virus-attack-free, or if you've got the most updated and new OS in the whole wide world, or if you can run Windows on your machine too. I don't want a Mac.

I don't even care if my computer is slow and has screen problems, like not lighting up when I plug in the power cable. I just want it back, and I want to use it to my heart's content. It's tiny, with a small ten inch screen, and the keyboard is pretty small - just nice for my tiny ridiculous hands. Finally, a keyboard where I don't have to move around my hands so much. And I think my laptop is pretty. It's sleek. And it's small. And I like it.

I like it way more than I can ever like a Mac.

Not to mention I was raised on a Windows system. And it's going to take me forever to learn how to use goddamn Excel on a Mac, and all the stupid applications. I don't care about iPhoto Booth that all my stupid classmates are using to cam-WHORE, because I'm not one who poses like mad in front of a silly camera. And I don't care about all the other applications. I just need iTunes. And I don't want Safari, I want Mozilla Firefox.

ON A STANDARD COMPUTER, NOT SOME NEWFANGLED MAC THAT I DON'T WANT AND DON'T CARE ABOUT. ON A NICE STANDARD COMPUTER, SPECIFICALLY MY HP MINI, NOT SOME SPANKING NEW MAC THAT I DON'T WELCOME.

For cripe's sake, get it into your stupid head. I don't want a Mac, and I don't care how much my mother likes hers, I don't care about Macs. I just want a normal computer that runs Windows, not Snow Leopard or Mac OS X.

NOT TO MENTION IT'S SO MUCH BLOODY CHEAPER!!!

I'm not even on your back for anything else. I'm a cheap option, the kid who doesn't ask for new gadgets and gizmos and doesn't submit a present list.

I mean, I tell you I hate using the phone that I have at the moment, and that's because it's not my phone. How more obvious can I be that I want a phone to call my own? And it's kinda obvious from my glances at her iphone that I want one too. Obviously. It's so obvious, it's even on my blog wishlist. And I don't ask for it because it won't seem nice for me to have the same kinda gadget as my mother. Though I bet you I'll probably use it more intelligently than she will. And it's ridiculous to keep me away from my own computer.

For Christ's sake, all I want is my own bloody computer back, not something new!

Get that into your head - though I'm pretty sure you're already hellbent on buying a Mac.