You realise that sometimes it just gets...sad. Whatever.

I mean, for the past two years, I thought '3rd September. Huh?'

Essentially that means I forgot my own birthday.

I mean, I know that it's my birthday.

It's just that I don't think much of my birthday anymore.

I went and viewed the posts I did on my birthdays since I was in Sec One.

Sec One, I got two books. Remains of the Day and The Last Lecture. And dinner.

Sec Two, I got court shoes, early dinner from parents, notebook and nice paper from Auntie Carolin, Joyce and Joanne. With cake.

Sec Three - braces. Early dinner.

In Sec Two I was preoccupied with the ET's MGU14s. I guess that's an excuse to forget.

In Sec Three? I didn't even realise.

In debate this week some newbies, Sec Ones, were discussing birthdays and were demanding that the others remember theirs.

I wanted to call them juvenile.

I said: When you get to my age it won't matter anymore. I forgot mine for the past two years.

They gaped.

They couldn't comprehend it.

I mean, to me my birth date is just that. My birthdate.

I don't feel exceptionally happy.

Some people say that your birthday is a celebration of your existence.

I say it's bullshit.

I mean, why do you need to celebrate? You exist and that's it.

And there ain't much to celebrate anyway. Existence? Rather not.

It's just gone, that thing, that thing.

You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away.

You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure...